FDA-APPROVED PATIENT INFORMATION FOR CATRECIL.
Thank you for inadvertently choosing non-clumping Catrecil for your contraceptive needs. By adopting two rescue cats and wearing a sweatshirt with a cat on it—albeit ironically—you have activated the powerful birth-control system that is Catrecil. Do not use Catrecil if you smoke or are over age 35, as this may increase your risk of quitting your job to sell tamales over the Internet. Catrecil does not protect against cooter rabies. Also, someone will need to come by and feed it if you go out of town for more than a day or so.